Or Musings O’ Mine, sponsored by Minute Rice….
Ive sat here as time allowed, trying to account for the last month in meditative fashion. For fun and a possible catharsis, I write about it here. If you care to experience how Im feeling…. try imagining yourself being crammed into the spam tin of your favorite detestation theme park’s Bumper Car Ride. Now pretend after you put your tray table in a full and upright position, you bounce, spiral andoccasionally Immelmann loop unknowingly from airport to airport across America half a dozen times or more in less than a month.
Now imagine why…. Why? I slept in at least three airports during the month of June, because it was easier than booking a Hotel and possibly missing my flight. At 6’5” tall, and tipping the scales at over 200 lbs of educated baggage…. there is NO way in the name of Camp O’Hare I will fit easily into any overhead storage bin. Still, why did all this occur?
Why? Because I hate flying? Nah…. Ive been flying forever, and I sleep like a baby on planes. Ive never had a lick of problems flying. Nope. This all happened because titles are important in Corporate America…. and a lot of folks with whimsical, important and powerful sounding titles like telling “the New Consultant” where to go. Well guess what? After about three weeks of playing discount latch key kid, I did what any divorced child figures out just before Christmas…. How can I play one set of parents off the other ????
Damn, I LOATHE that metaphor…. but I LOATHE Corporate America even more. Is it any wonder nothing gets done in the World anymore? They live in cubes, offices and suites that do everything short of a Hand Grenade to promote chaos and collapse. I had FIVE Bosses in typical Orwellian fashion, with just a hint of “there’s an App for that” send me from Point A to Point J to Point 37…. ALL without none of that needless reading comprehension, confirmation or conferring with one another.
So while on one my myriad trips, I ended up watching “Fight Club”, which inspired me to read “Survivor” on my final flight from Los Angeles back Home. This all plays a rather large part into my Corporate Strategy now. To use a Chess Analogy: “Its like moving your Pawn safely down to the end of the board. Once there, it can become a Queen.” Maybe those are just the Mormon Rules, I dont know…. ;-)
Still, I use to joke and say that Humans didnt evolve from Apes, but that we will evolve into Apes. I simply will never understand why some people will work twice as hard to avoid a task as simple as reading and/or understanding. Now this is just one of my many misadventures over the last month, but I have to say…. I am looking forward to downfall of civilization at this rate, if only so I can swing through the jungles of the suburban strip mall, completely pants-less.
The Doctor is Out…. wondering if the Banana Republic is as delicious as it sounds?
PS. More Stories to come. This excess baggage had to be dropped off right away….